Forgive Others – and More Importantly, Yourself

Forgive Others

And More Importantly,  Yourself

“Those who injured us only did what they knew how to do, given the conditions of their lives. If you won’t forgive, then allow those ancient injuries to continue their hold on you.”

Dr Wayne Dyer

This wonderful and empowering quote made me think, and the first sentence of this quote is very similar to one of the presuppositions of NLP : “People are doing the best they can with the resources they have available”.

Healing oneself and forgiveness go hand in hand. Forgiveness is based in the first instance on forgiving others. Being resentful for someone’s actions or non-actions for a prolonged period of time is not a healthy strategy to embrace for your own well being.

This is where contextualising comes in as a helpful tool. It helps to understand the other person’s point of view and intention, which will allow you to eventually rise above the event and detach yourself from what has happened.


Forgiving yourself for putting yourself through a difficult situation can be even harder. The answers will often be kept safe by your unconscious mind and revealed to you if it feels safe to share it. That’s what the role of the unconscious mind is after all, to keep you safe at all times.

Last year, just before flying back from New Zealand and returning to Europe, this Hawaiian practice of Ho’opoonoo was introduced to me on two separate occasions and I recite it often when I catch myself being too hard on myself or when I feel stuck in a sticky situation:

Please forgive me

I am sorry

Thank you

I love you.

I underestimated the degree of positive impact this proverb was going to have on my thinking process. It allowed me to immediately bring myself back to the present moment. It allowed me to loosen the harsh pattern that I have on myself. This proverb reminded me that I am totally good enough, and so are you. Forgiving others, and yourself is a powerful tool to use and a very big step towards starting the healing process from within.

Questions? Ready to Get Started?

Do you have questions for Emilie? You can find ways to connect with her on her Contact page.

forgive others



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